I want to tell you a story about an experience I had that made me believe in white privilege. I have often been called a “fake Mexican”, I’ve been told that I “act white”. I grew up with many white friends and ended up procreating with a white man. That means I have three beautiful children who are half white. I do not consider myself racist or even have any negative views towards white people. I wanted to say that before I went on because I didn’t want anybody to think that this has anything to do with my views on white people. I’ve had a really hard time acknowledging when I did experience racism. Because I was so naive to it and honestly, I didn’t want to see it. I was ignoring the racism that I was experiencing because I wasn’t raised to see color.
Like I mentioned I grew up with many white friends and still have many of those friends in my life today. One of them was always my “partner in crime” then one day, we literally committed a crime together.
We were about 19 years old I believe, when we went on a shoplifting spree. Inevitably we got caught and the moment the police showed up, I complied with everything the officers asked of me because as a Latina I was raised to do so. However, my blonde hair blue-eyed friend apparently did not get the memo and she became quite belligerent with the officers. They had not cuffed me at all during the process. She eventually got cuffed, put in the back of the car and threatened to take her down to the station. She eventually calmed down and came home with me, she did get an additional charge of disorderly conduct. Now I wonder how it would have turned out had I been the one to become belligerent.
A few years go by and she landed a job with a great company making really good money. I was in a very similar field to where I had been working the last few years, I decided to take a chance and apply at that company. I did an interview and was offered the job right away. I put my two weeks’ notice in at my current position and was excited to get a new opportunity and make more money.
It was the Monday of my last week at the position I was leaving when I got a call. I was told that they needed to rescind their offer of employment. I was upset and I was confused, and I didn’t know what to do. I was told that they could not hire somebody with a charge of shoplifting. I asked why it took them that long to let me know considering I already quit my job. She informed me that the background check had just now come in.
I was never asked about misdemeanors on the application. I am always honest about my criminal past when asked. I have no reason to disclose that I have a misdemeanor on an applicated that only asks for felonies, right? Luckily, I was able to get my position back at the employer that I had given notice to. But I was left confused to why my friend could work there with not only that charge, but the additional charge of disorderly conduct when I couldn’t work there with the shoplifting charge alone. A charge that we obtained on the same exact day. We both paid off our fines, we even attended the mandatory classes that the judge gave us together and finish at the same time.
At no point did race cross my mind because like I said previously, that’s just not how I think. Fast forward a couple of years, I applied to be on the lease of the apartment that my boyfriend was already renting and had been for a few years. I was denied because a shoplifting charge is considered a crime against the community and they do not accept people with a charge in that category. Once that lease was up, we decided to move for several reasons and one of them was I wanted to be on the lease so I could live there “legally”.
We started apartment hunting and even looking at rental homes and every single time we were told the same thing, I was not allowed on the lease because of my criminal background. The only place that we could find that would accept were the same places that accepted felons.
I was again found myself confused; my friend was able to get nice rental apartments in several different cities in the same state. I called to ask her about it, she didn’t know what I was talking about because she had never been told this. I was upset and when talking to my brother he made a statement that made me think. He said to me, “it’s your last name that’s holding you back”. When he said that I still didn’t understand. He finally got blunt and said “you’re Mexican. She’s white”. “She can make that mistake and not have to pay for it like you do”.
I still wasn’t convinced because I didn’t understand how that would even be possible during this time. But after sitting with that for a while I decided there could be no other conclusion. Why could she work at the company that I couldn’t? why could she rent apartments that I couldn’t? The only thing that was different was the fact that I am a Latina and she is white.
I came to understand that her white privilege meant that she could make the same mistake I made and not pay for it for years on end. She could make a bad choice learn from it and move forward with life, while I could not.
Now I want to make this clear. She worked hard for what she has today, I would never discount that. She wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth. I knew since we were kids in elementary school. I knew her struggles and they were and are very real. I’m happy for her and know she is living the life she deserves, the life she EARNED, the life I had hoped she would have.
None of that changes the fact that the color of her skin was not one of those struggles. I truly believes this even though I have been challenged on it many of times. I am not one to easily pull the race card, when I pull it it’s because I feel it. I think racism isn’t taken seriously these days for a couple reasons. One being that it’s thrown out for every little thing. My first job was working at a movie theater and I had a man ask me to give him free popcorn. When I turned him down, he started yelling in the lobby “it’s because I’m black” over and over. Umm no I simply need to keep my job!! Another reason being that it isn’t obvious today like it was at time. There are no signs up denying services to “colored folk”. For example, in my situation, no one was going to come out and say oh ya its because your Mexican that we can’t hire you with that charge.
This is just one Mexican Americans perspective. Please feel free to give me your opinion based on your This is just one Mexican Americans perspective. I was inspired to write this based on a DM I got on Facebook. Please feel free to give me your opinion based on your experiences!
My Beautiful Disaster 